Primum Non Nocere VII

(part one) (part two) (part three) (part four) (part five) (part six) (part eight)


Monday, November 19, 2007 9:29 PM

I don't think much is happening here, holiday-wise ("we've" a new round of health problems, unfortunately). Matzo stuffing aside, I feel more connected to a cherry blossom festival as it is...anyway, if you would like to maybe grab a turkey club Thursday...after services, of course (I'll be visiting Our Lady of Perpetuate Deception)...


November 19, 2007 10:46:14 PM PST

By a new round of health problems, do you mean E?


Wednesday, November 21, 2007 9:46 AM

Yes, E...the removal of unnecessary / detrimental Big Pharma crap is to be heralded with great fanfare; unfortunately that only clears more playing field for drug addiction to start wrapping tentacles, or manacles, etc. I'll keep it short: still very, very happy that the Depakote, et. al., are in the rear view, and that symptoms are (for the most part) likewise. Opiates, as everyone knows - even the person who graduated from Seattle U minoring in chemistry and biology - readily replace this vacuum with a litany of ailments to occupy time, hinder wellness and cloud judgment. This is to say nothing of what I believe may very well be what some call a sematoform disorder; specifically, a conversion disorder. Only that, whatever it is, is almost certainly psychological before it becomes physical, and is now getting a less-fettered round-the-clock opium bath.

You can imagine the specifics as to why I haven't suggested any gets-togethers with "mom-n-dems"...there are plans and appointments with doctors and psychiatrists, with the second pain management guy (UCSD) suggesting a detox center in Mission Bay, etc. A case worker is looking into NLP/biofeedback practitioners that are covered, the guy I took E to in Mira Mesa being very helpful, but at $110 a pop.

Brother J, who turned 37 yesterday, can barely contain his rage, with the underlying thought being somewhere around age 40 shouldn't the kids be looking after the parents? Our mother's health is delicate enough, but it's a crapshoot to give E an ultimatum, for if she snaps irreversibly my mother's heart will break. Though we all know that E could just as easily make Eva Peron look like a wallflower if she (not Evita) would just get her head right.


November 21, 2007 2:04:07 PM PST

Sematofom-shematoform; it no longer matters what you or anyone else, including E calls it or how well any of us can interpret its manifestations.

All it may take is one more detox referral by one more covered specialist, and E, I predict, will find herself on the outside of coverage for anything more than a safeway shopping cart to hold all her worldly possessions.

Don't think for a moment that these scrivening pustules who approve coverage aren't building a case for disenfranchisement. They are.

As for fitting in a get-together with all players, we should do that. Perhaps while my memsahib is away? I'll whip up one of my famous road kill primaveras with ingredients appropriate for all exclusions, inclusions, and occlusions.

Brother J's comments are well taken, and happy birthday to him. Of course the last thing any parent wants (well, almost the last thing), is to have to be taken care of. The way you guys rallied to your mother's side at your dad's passing was impressive.

Your mom is doing her best to be independent and to not "need", but need she will, and if that need is in addition to what E may need, well....That may transcend the line between need and...sentence.

Of course when that bolt from the blue turfed me out of the workforce before I was ready, I wished I'd put away a bit more beforehand , but was triply glad that I hadn't been a complete shmuck and given up my military medical benefits and pension. For me to have had to be dependent on my sons is and was unthinkable...unthinkable. Enough on that, before I get diatribe-ish...

None of us of the phylum chordata, genus/surname T--- does well with ultimatums (ultimata?) Crystal clear understanding is the preferred avenue, and it must be conveyed. The very last words you ever want to hear are "why didn't you tell me?"


November 21, 2007 8:27:29 PM PST

I would agree that the Laverne & Shirley "shematoform, shemazelform" is becoming increasingly irrelevant. This ain't polio; i.e. you've (she's) not the luxury of clinging to a disease racking her body, since there isn't any. The one (glaring) exception being that some yutz along the way once said "You've got _____ (let's say 'an eating disorder')" and followed with "You need to take _____ (let's say 'prozac')" and E chose and still chooses to internalize, with Pavlovian efficacy, such brazen horsehit time and again. Add to that soup the ability of narcotics to always provide bountiful, mañana-like excuses and you have the present quandary. (Hint: it's not living in "de-Amazon"...)

You are most kind to elevate those within the health care Accounts Receivable corridors to the status of scrivening pustules (nice...). I am surprised the bastages haven't yet made a move, and I would welcome it if they do (see above: "This ain't polio"). Enough is enough.

Brother J's points are well taken, yes, and I hope to see our mother visit out in Vegas sometime soon for as long as she can and just chill...no one deserves it more...

We (royal and otherwise) are forced into contingency planning with the malleable success of crystal clear understanding regrettably temporary. When habitual narcotic use becomes past tense, things will obviously perk up. That s'mores and chloroform shit, however, will remain, whatever it is, and needs to be reprogrammed out of E's skull. I'm completely serious.

I would say, with an evenness that has only come with age, that my father was given so much native intelligence at birth that several of those on both sides of his place in line were left wanting, and surely became night watchmen or even republicans. After a decent night's sleep and a bowl of Wheaties I'm lucky to break 140 on an IQ quiz; he could top that with an additional 40 points after a half bottle of his beloved Smirnoff, easy. But what of clear understanding, or comprehension, when the aptitude is present, but the gravity surrounding that comprehension (speaking in health terms now) remains woefully absent - for whatever reason? E doesn't need to embrace wearing such blinders. It's debilitating and inconsiderate.

But it's not from a paucity of intellect, obviously...or is it? How else to explain, without inferring cruel intentions or drug-addled rationale as tidy explanations, such illogical decision making?

In E's case, I'm afraid we'll just be treading various levels of water until there's a cooling system flush. She is remarkably better than a couple of months ago...but...one only gets to say "I didn't know / why didn't you tell me?" so many times after knowing / having been told...

In my father's case, of course, in the space of a half an hour he could have made Aristotle's head spin with more RPMs than Linda Blair's, and left Ari scampering toward the causality of a bath house for solace...

Would be most honored to attend a PRK party (Primavera Road Kill) with as many as will decide to attend...can make it a re-education hot pot-luck if you like...


November 21, 2007 10:32:16 PM PST

It doesn't have to be polio; it's all relative and there is no universal threshhold of tolerance; nor is there one of self-determination to accept the RPGs that the Gods hit us with, with equanimity rather than despondency and dependence.

A break in Vegas would be great for your mom, I just can't imagine her doing it right now.

Your father, my brother, was indeed blessed with many creative and active gray cells at birth. I think I recall hearing that his IQ was measured in the 160s at Samuel J. Tilden high school in Brooklyn before he was turfed out of that institution. I'd guess that yours is right up there alongside that score, as mine was measured at 144 before a portion of it fried, and I've always thought your bulb wattage was right up there. While you father's innovative ability was incredible, his ability to execute those innovations was abysmally inept, and best left to lesser, but more disciplined intellects.

In Aristotle's case, he would have gladly given your dad all his worldly goods, the toga off his back, and gone out and stolen another toga to give him before limping off to said bathhouse, but eventually Ari would have snapped to the awareness that all the togas in all the gin joints in the world wouldn't have been enough....

I hope there's enough water to tread, and the strength to keep treading until change occurs.

PKK P/U pencilled into short term agenda.


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